What is your True Desire?

Something was brought to my attention the other day that I feel needs to be addressed. This is the question, "Is it okay for Christians to smoke marijuana?" This is a legitimate question. There are three local dispensaries right around us for medical marijuana. This is a question that many have for it seems that the government is now for marijuana, because they are selling it! So, I started searching. One of my favorite places for research is the blog, Evidence for God from Science. So much of my research on this topic comes from Richard Deem who is a brilliant scientist and professor. I am not going to go into the scientific research that he does. You can go to his blog and read all you want on the science of marijuana. In fact, I encourage you to do so. I am going to talk from my personal experience. So here we go...

When I think of smoking marijuana, or getting drunk, or taking other drugs that get in the way of my mind working as it should, I immediately think of my relationship with God and other people. Oh, yes those physical feelings that I experience in the moment of that high are alluring, but the consequences that come afterwards are what keeps coming to my mind. It is not really the detrimental consequences that I think of. It is the consequences of being able to have that relationship that I so desperately need from my God and others around me. "Jesus replied:‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your MIND.’ This is the first and greatest commandment.'" (Matthew 22:37). How are we loving our Lord, our God with all of our mind if we are blocking hearing Him with the things we place in us?

For me, in this time of my life, I no longer worry about the sexual consequences of sleeping with the wrong guy because I get drunk, or about any of the physical consequences that many war against when they are young. The consequences that keep my attention are the consequences that I see with my relationship with my God. My God is not just an opinion that I have. He is the center of my life and we have a very real relationship together. Why would I do something that would get in the way of this relationship? The only answer that I can come up with are these: I either do not really believe that I can have a true relationship with Him, or I do not really love Him as He has instructed me to love Him, or I am just too concerned about myself and what I want in that moment to really care about Him or about how I am affecting others around me. Basically, am I being selfish and just concerned about what I want in that moment. Not about the whole picture that God sees in every decision that I make in every moment.

“An opinion is a position you hold with a varied degree of intensity that merely voices your preference. A conviction is that which is rooted in your conscience. So that if you were to toy with your opinions you are going to be jossiling with your preferences. If you are going to toy with a conviction you are going to have to deal with your conscience before you altered it," (RZ, Convictions that conquered the world).

My God and what He expects from me is not just an opinion that I hold, but a conviction that has change my life forever. 2 Timothy 3:1-5, "People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, LOVERS OF PLEASURE RATHER THAN LOVERS OF GOD, having a form of godliness but denying its power." I cannot seek myself first, but Him and I know that when I allow myself to indulge in the physical pleasures of something that will alter my mind, then I know that my relationship with Him will be altered. I am not willing to give Him up. This is a conviction for me, not just an opinion. I have done my research. I have experienced this life with Him as my center. I know what I have and what I could loose.

I have found my freedom in Christ and through Him I choose to never be a slave to something that will control my life. I am a bond servant to my Lord. I am no longer a slave to drugs that call you every waking moment. I can now have fun without them. I know what gives me true life. I am not blind to what the world offers as life, but what it will destroy in the process. That moment of getting high may not affect you physically while you are doing it. You may not suffer one bit for that pleasure that you seek, but you will be affected and so will those that you do it with. It will get in the way of your relationship with Christ, and your ability to hear God clearly. Those that you do it with, will not be able to see God through you like you wish they could. You will not be able to love the Lord your God as He has called you to and you will not be able to love those around you like you think you can, if you are getting high. Are you really a Christian, a Christ follower?

"Then He [Jesus] said to them all: 'If anyone would come after Me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow Me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for Me will save it. What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit his very self?' (Luke 9:23-25)" Who are you really following if you are a slave to your physical desires? Do you hold to an opinion or to a conviction? Do the research and find the truth.

Click on the title above "What is your True Desire" and it will take you to your first form of research on this matter. Then search more and learn the truth. At the bottom of this link there are two other "Related Pages, 'The Medical Benefits of smoking Marijuana', and 'Does the bible talk about Drugs.'" Find out what you stand on, Opinion or Conviction.

Rejecting God

1 Samuel 8, “'Look,' they told him, 'you are now old, and your sons are not like you. Give us a king to judge us like all the other nations have.' Samuel was displeased with their request and went to the Lord for guidance. 'Do everything they say to you,' the Lord replied, 'for it is Me they are rejecting, not you. They don’t want Me to be their king any longer. Ever since I brought them from Egypt they have continually abandoned Me and followed other gods. And now they are giving you the same treatment. Do as they ask, but solemnly warn them about the way a king will reign over them.'”

I had a vision the other day about this verse. I will pertain it to my life. When I was young all that I ever wanted was a husband. I wanted someone to come in and save me from myself. I desired nothing more than to be married. All the while God was calling me to be His. He desired for me to want Him. He had come to save me from myself and He knew that no one else could give me what I truly desired. However, I would not listen to Him. I desired a husband and no one could stop me from my pursuit. He tried to warn me. All of my friends were against me getting married (the first time). But I was determined, I just knew getting married would solve all of my problems. So I did.

As I look back upon my choice, I can see all of the warnings. I could hear every living being on earth screaming at me to stop what I was doing, but my mind was made up and I was running away to Vegas to prove them wrong.

"A king, a husband to rule over you. Don't you know that I love you and if you will wait with Me I will give you a better life than you could ever imagine. I love you and I desire to be your Husband. I will not rule over you like the wrong man will. I will love you and I will cherish you. You are my bride and I will take care of you. Don't you trust me." These were the words that God was whispering to my heart, but my desire made it so that I could not hear Him. I not only could not hear Him, I did not want to.

How many times have our own desires led us down the wrong path in our life. If we could learn the lesson without the heartache things would go so much easier. But, as a child of God, I am just like my children. They learn better when there is a little pain involved, or if I make there situation uncomfortable.

I am not against desiring marriage. I am married to a wonderful man, but when we got married, Jason was not my desire. I married Jason out of obedience to God. This time my focus was different. This time my focus was on God, and through my husband, I have been able to see what God had desired for me all along. He desires for me to be happy. He desires for me to live a life full of love. He desires for me to be in a relationship with Him first, so that He can bless my relationships that I have with others. It is all about my focus. It is all about my desire. The hard part is when we continually refuse to listen to His gentile whispers of love, He will finally let you have what you want. The problem is that our dreams rarely coincide with reality.

What are you desiring? Where is your focus? “It is important for you and me to know that God is not really giving us a more ethical way by which to live, but He is giving us a life that we could never manufacture on our own; by changing our hearts and changing our hungers.” (RZ) It took several years for my desire to be for my husband or for my marriage. God needed me to focus on Him so that He could change me from within. Then my life was changed in a more dramatic way than I could have ever imagined. He changed my heart and my hunger was for Him alone. Now because He knows my heart to be faithful to Him, my desire for my husband, for my marriage is extreme. I have what I always desired, but He first had to know that I desired Him more. I have my dream, but it is not because I am married to the perfect man. He is good, but he is not perfect. I have a wonderful life because God is my focus and my true life. I was rejecting God because of my desire for a husband. I now desire God and I am blessed, for I finally started to listen.

Honey in the Rock

It can be so hard and frustrating to try and counsel someone that is not a believer in Christ, nor do they have any desire to be. There is no hope in that counsel. There is no life there, and it seems, no answers for them. Now, I have so much bottled up. I must share my hope. We all struggle with times of depression. We all have those moments when we want to pull the covers back over our heads and not face the light of day. Our tendency is to want to feed the depression. Instead of fighting against it, we all want to give in and embrace our feelings. We turn on music that will give us a feeling of entitlement to our attitude. We want to watch depressing movies that allow us to share our emotions with someone else. Even if it is just through an actor playing a part. We go toward the darkness instead of fleeing from it. We think that we are better off and it is better for us to accommodate our lives to how we are feeling. Instead, of fighting against the feelings, we embrace them.

Here is the part that saddens me when speaking to an unbeliever who is suffering with depression, I don't know how to encourage them to come out of their imprisonment. It is during those hard times that we as followers of Christ can feel Him. He is found in the rocks of life. "But I would feed you with the finest foods. I would satisfy you with wild honey from the rock,” (Psalm 81). When those hard times in life are felt, when we see a rock in front of us that seems impenetrable, it is then that we can see the mighty hand of God helping us over, around, and through that obstacle.

Honey is the taste of God. Honey is the sweetness of God that can be found in the most outrageous of places. When we are faced with situations that would appear as though we would die, that is when the sweetness of God can truly be tasted. Psalm 119:103, "How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth!" There is enough strength in honey to make a weak man strong. When the men would go out into battle and they were worn from exhaustion, if they could just get a little honey it would give them enough strength to continue on and win the battle.

It is often that God is the most intense during the darkest and most difficult times in our life. There is enough of God in every rock, on every path of life, to help you take another step. We are not to embrace the feelings of depression, but to find the honey that is offered there. Some love the darkness, but they are missing the best part of that darkness by rejecting the sweetness of God. That true sweetness is only found by those who are willing to listen to Him. He is the only One who can really give you life and a joy that surpasses all here on this earth.

Oswald Chambers, "When we are born again, the Holy Spirit begins to work His new creation in us, and there will come a time when there is nothing remaining of the old life. Our old gloomy outlook disappears, as does our old attitude toward things, and 'all things are of God' (2 Corinthians 5:18)... Once we truly see God at work, we will never be concerned again about the things that happen, because we are actually trusting in our Father in heaven, whom the world cannot see." Can you taste the Honey in the rock?

Walls

The older my son gets, the more I can see me in my relationship with my God. In this case, I am in the place of God in my relationship with my son, as God is to me in our relationship. I love my son no matter what, but when he disobeys me, he is the one building the walls between us. It is a matter of constant little disobedience that builds those walls one brick, one rebellious moment at a time.

Just the other night I had had my fill of those rebellious moments. I asked him to go and take a shower. Which in reply, he informed me that he just needed to wash his feet. This went back and forth several times, till I just said, "Go." When he came out he had only washed his feet! Then I very firmly told him, he better get in there and wash his whole body, now. When he got out he did another subtle little act of disobedience and the scolding was on. He thought it was my fault and I was being too hard on him. For this act was so small, but it was a combination of them all, all day long, that I was seeing. After we shared some tears, I explained to him that when he obeys me we have a good relationship. But, when he disobeys me, he is the one building the walls between us. It is his act of rebellion that places those feelings of rejection, anger, aloneness, all those negative feelings he thinks that I am responsible for, he is the true owner of those feelings. He is the one responsible for building that wall.

How we can become so concerned with our parts of obedience that we forget that God sees the whole picture, not just that act, in that moment. We think, "But, I am doing so good. Did you see that I sacrificed here? I gave my part in that... here." Jesus had just one thing to say about doing our little acts of obedience in one area, while neglecting the others. “What sorrow awaits you teachers of religious law and you Pharisees. Hypocrites! For you are careful to tithe even the tiniest income from your herb gardens, but you ignore the more important aspects of the law—justice, mercy, and faith. You should tithe, yes, but do not neglect the more important things..." (Matthew 23:23) The emphasis was on doing your part in all God is calling you to do, not just one area. He did not say that you could just pick one area and leave out something else. No, He said, "tithe, yes..." As we give back to God we do not get to choose just one thing and leave out the rest of the body. Tithe, then do whatever else He is telling you to do. It is not a choice between different things, but to do as much you can, as often as you are presented with the opportunity. Some may think, "but I do not work at the church building this scripture is for them, not me." Be careful. There is more. We cannot take just one thing that Jesus says and leave out another part. “But I warn you—unless your righteousness is better than the righteousness of the teachers of religious law and the Pharisees, you will never enter the Kingdom of Heaven!" (Matthew 5:20). No, every bit is for everyone.

How many times do we have an opportunity to serve, or to love on someone, or to open our home up and have someone over, or to give that little extra bit of money in our pocket? How many times do we neglect the subtle nudges from God to obey? How many times have we disobeyed Him and in return built a small piece of wall between the two of us. How many times have we neglected to spend that precious moment with just Him, so that we will be better equipped to deal with the rest of this life that is facing us?

We are not called to be like our pastor, our teacher, our friend, or our neighbor. We are called be like Christ. He is our example and He is perfect. He always gave first. He always considered those special moments alone with God to be most valuable. He always gave everything He had. He never asked for anything in return, except for us to do as He does. Do we? Or are we slowly building a wall between us and Christ by what we do not do? It is not a matter of salvation. That was done by Christ alone, on the Cross. It is a matter of whether or not we are willing to obey or not. We cannot have that pure relationship with Christ that we desire if we are constantly building walls between us.

Remembering When

Remembering where I came from...
I always wanted to get married. I had a desire to make things right and I thought that if I were to get married, then all of my troubles would be solved. I was fifteen when I lost my virginity and it was then that I knew I needed help. I spent the next seven years trying to fit my desire to get married on to any and every guy that came my way. I did not care what kind of guy he was. Actually, most of the time I preferred the kind of guy that sort of scared me. I liked the thrill of the moment and for some reason, because he scared me, I felt safe in his arms. My seven years were spent trying to find a husband. So, at twenty-two I ran off to Los Vegas and got married to the guy that I had been dating for one year. Being married to him did not solve my problems at all. In fact, it multiplied them.

I was always running to the wrong thing to save me. I was always looking to a guy to fill that deep wound in my heart. I thought that being married would solve my problems. I think most girls feel this way. They may no longer have the desire to get married, for most are scared to death of marriage, because of all the marriages they see falling apart around them. But, most are looking to the wrong things to make them feel safe, secure, powerful, and wanted.

I stayed married to him for four years. During that time all hell had broken loose. I became addicted to drugs; pornography and the sex industry were running ramped all around me, until I myself became a stripper. My life was falling apart. I was dying. It was in the most horrible time of my life that I discovered how to call to God. It was during this time that I finally was able to let God take control of my life, for I could finally see how truly lost I was without Him.

"I will praise the Lord at all times. I will constantly speak His praises. I will boast only in the Lord; let all who are helpless take heart. Come, let us tell of the Lord’s greatness; let us exalt His name together. I prayed to the Lord, and He answered me. He freed me from all my fears. Those who look to Him for help will be radiant with joy; no shadow of shame will darken their faces. In my desperation I prayed, and the Lord listened; He saved me from all my troubles. For the angel of the Lord is a guard; He surrounds and defends all who fear Him. Taste and see that the Lord is good. Oh, the joys of those who take refuge in Him!" (Psalm 34)

I often go back in my mind to who I was without Christ. I often share my most horrible sins with others. For in doing this, my memory is kept right with God. This keeps me on my knees thanking Him for saving me when I called to Him for help. I know who I am without Him. Without Him, I am a lier, a thief, an adulterous woman, a prostitute. Without Him, I am nothing and I know it.

"Come, my children, and listen to me, and I will teach you to fear the Lord. Does anyone want to live a life that is long and prosperous? Then keep your tongue from speaking evil and your lips from telling lies! Turn away from evil and do good. Search for peace, and work to maintain it. The eyes of the Lord watch over those who do right; His ears are open to their cries for help. But the Lord turns His face against those who do evil; He will erase their memory from the earth. The Lord hears His people when they call to Him for help. He rescues them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; He rescues those whose spirits are crushed."

I used to believe that I had to have it all together before God would hear me cry. I used to think that I had to be perfect first, before He would save me. God is not looking for a perfect person. "Jesus said, 'It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. But go and learn what this means: 'I desire mercy, not sacrifice.' For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.'" (Matthew 9:12) What He wants is a heart that will turn to Him. What He desires is for the sinner to realize who they really are without Him. What He wants is for us to know how far we can fall when we are not relying on Him. What He wants is to give us a new life. “It is important for you and me to know that God is not really giving us a more ethical way by which to live, but He is giving us a life that we could never manufacture on our own; by changing our hearts and changing our hungers.” (RZ)

I cannot take credit for the life that I live now. I cannot take credit for the great marriage that I now have. I cannot take credit for anything that I rejoice in, for I know where to give that credit. I tried to make my own life and it fell apart. He has given me a life now that I could have never dreamed up on my own. He has given me this life, because my heart and my desires are now for Him alone. Some may think that I am over the top. A crazy, insane person, because all I talk about is God. But I know how far I can fall without Him. Do you? Or do you give yourself credit for the life that you are living? If you do, be careful. One day you make wake up and the pride that you feel in yourself, may just slap you in your face. Don't wait till you are on the wrong side of life before you give your life to Him...

Shatter the Teeth of the Wicked!

Oswald Chambers, "I cannot save and sanctify myself; I cannot make atonement for sin; I cannot redeem the world; I cannot right what is wrong, purify what is impure, or make holy what is unholy. That is all the sovereign work of God..."

I do not have all of the answers. I cannot mend a broken heart. I cannot help the hopeless or save someone form destruction, but I can point them to the One that can. I have no answers for the unbeliever, for anything that I say is really hopeless without God. I can give them godly advise and leave it at that, but I cannot change their life. He must do that. You can cry to God when you feel wronged, and if you want something bad to happen to that person, you can tell Him that as well. That is one thing that I love about my God. He can take your anger. He can hear you when you are alone. He can comfort you when you feel abandoned. He can help you when you have anger and resentment against another person. You can call on Him and ask Him to take revenge on the wrong that someone has done to you. Give your troubles and cares to Him so that you become free.

Psalm 3,7, "Arise, O Lord! Rescue me, my God! Slap all my enemies in the face! Shatter the teeth of the wicked!... Arise, O LORD, in your anger; rise up against the rage of my enemies. Awake, my God; decree justice... He (the one that has hurt me) who is pregnant with evil and conceives trouble gives birth to disillusionment. He who digs a hole and scoops it out falls into the pit he has made. The trouble he causes recoils on himself; his violence comes down on his own head. I will give thanks to the LORD because of his righteousness and will sing praise to the name of the LORD Most High."

How thankful I am that I can cry out to God when someone wounds me. I can tell Him to bring catastrophe back upon them, and it is okay. It is okay for me to feel anger and for me to express that feeling to God. He can handle it. We just have to remember to give it to the only One who needs to deal with it, instead of letting that wound grab hold of our heart and letting it destroy us instead of them. Cry out to God. Ask Him to bring justice upon them. Give them to God. Then after you have made your case with God, after you have given your cries to Him, allow Him to heal you.

(OC), "If I construct my faith on my own experience, I produce the most unscriptural kind of life— an isolated life, with my eyes focused solely on my own holiness. Beware of that human holiness that is not based on the atonement of the Lord. It has no value for anything except a life of isolation— it is useless to God and a nuisance to man. Measure every kind of experience you have by our Lord Himself. We cannot do anything pleasing to God unless we deliberately build on the foundation of the atonement by the Cross of Christ."

After we have taken our case to Christ, we must let it go. For if we are constantly focused on the sins others have done to us, we miss the Cross given to us. We become a people always comparing our lives with other people, instead of comparing it with the only One who is perfect. Our standards become low. We start looking at others and thinking, "but I would never do that. I am not saying the same things that person is saying. I am not as bad as..." After we have taken our case of pain to God, we need to turn and focus our life on Christ. He is the only One who we need to compare our life to. In keeping our focus on Him, we can see who we really are without Him. In keeping our focus on the Cross, our own hearts will not become hard to others who sin against us. For really, compared to Him, we are all lost. Tell God your deepest wounds. Cry to Him and beg Him to take vengeance on them. Then release your hold on them and focus your life on the Cross.

In my Health

In my health, I have been reading Job. In a time of my life when things are going well for me, I have been reading Job. This has been good. Often in times of pain and torment, I have turned to this book to help me. This time I turn to it in my health. In reading it I can set myself out of the pain and look at the whole picture without the physical resentment of what is happening to me. In my health, I can see how truly shallow I am.

So often we think that our lives really affect God. We have a tendency to believe that He needs us. We think that we deserve good from Him, because we have been so good. Because we think this way, when catastrophe happens, we turn against God. We become like little children who think that they deserve a special treat for being good. We do things "for God", but in reality we are serving Him for what He will give us in return. We do this in our lives all of the time. Everything we do, we are looking for reward. And when that reward does not come, we become bitter and hurt, for we deserved better than what we got. All God ever desired from us is our heart. He desires our love. And in return, we work for Him, to get more from Him. Do we know how to love Him? Are we willing to worship Him?

Oswald Chambers, "Isn’t it humiliating to be told that we must come to Jesus! Think of the things about which we will not come to Jesus Christ. If you want to know how real you are, test yourself by these words— 'Come to Me...' In every dimension in which you are not real, you will argue or evade the issue altogether rather than come; you will go through sorrow rather than come; and you will do anything rather than come the last lap of the race of seemingly unspeakable foolishness and say, 'Just as I am, I come.' As long as you have even the least bit of spiritual disrespect, it will always reveal itself in the fact that you are expecting God to tell you to do something very big, and yet all He is telling you to do is to 'Come...'”

In my health, I am not consumed with self pity. In my health. I can see Him. So I am writing this, in my health, to remind me of who my God is and why I serve Him. I serve Him, because I love Him. I love Him, because He loved me first. I try my best not to sin. Not because I want a reward, but because He freed me from my slavery to sin. I worship Him, because He deserves to be worshiped. I respect Him because He deserves my respect. Not because of who I am, or what He has done for me, but because of who He is. I try to do my best, not to make Him love me more, but to not destroy His reputation that He has placed in my care. Why do I serve Him? Because, He is God and He deserves my worship!

(OC), "How often have you come to God with your requests and gone away thinking, 'I’ve really received what I wanted this time!' And yet you go away with nothing, while all the time God has stood with His hands outstretched not only to take you but also for you to take Him. Just think of the invincible, unconquerable, and untiring patience of Jesus, who lovingly says, 'Come to Me...'”

True Light

John 8:12, "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life."

The difference between real light and artificial light. I am going to start with the use of a flashlight at night. When it is dark outside we like to have a flashlight to help us find our way in the dark. If we are lost, we are very grateful for that flashlight in our hand, but what we are really longing for is the comfort of the sun. The sun takes away all of the dark, scary corners where the light of the flashlight will not reach. The sun is warm and brings new light and new hope to a dark and scary world. The truth is we are very thankful for our flashlight while it is dark, but there is a catch. Our flashlight is not very reliable. When we are getting very desperate, our flashlight may be getting worn too and its batteries will start to fail. It is only reliable for a short time, to help start us on our journey. We find comfort in using this light, for we have some control with this light. We can direct it where we want it to shine, and we can turn it on and off as we please. But, like I said, this light is not reliable, for one day it will fail.

In contrast to artificial light the light of God is not controllable. We do not have power over this light and at times this can be very scary and frustrating, especially when we see the sun going down and the darkness of night coming. But unlike our artificial light the light of Christ is very dependable and will never fail us. This light will give us strength and encouragement when we do not think there is any hope left for He is consistent. Ps 112:4, "Even in darkness light dawns for the upright..."

As believers in Christ we are called to be a light to the world. We are the artificial light of Christ. We can give hope and encouragement for a short time, but eventually our light will fail and our comfort will disappear for those who are just dependent on us. This is also true of false gods. These false gods can never give to you what you are looking for. Yes, you can direct them and have some sense of control over them, but this is a false sense of security. It is the light of the One true God that will never fail you nor forsake you. He is consistent. He is reliable. You have no control over Him. It is in this lack of control over Him, where you find that He has given you strength.

Psalm 139, "...If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. If I say, 'Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,' even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you. For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them!"

Because we see things with our human eyes, we do not see them correctly. Especially, when it seems there is darkness surrounding them. We do not understand that He see everything perfectly, and if we will learn to follow the one who is the maker of true light, that is where our joy will be found. He is the light of the world and in Him there is no darkness. It is only in learning to follow the true light that we find real comfort in this world. It is in His true light that we can finally see the truth. We cannot direct this light and we have no control over this light, but in this lack of control, we can finally learn to let go of our bondage and live free. He has found you. You just have to learn to seek Him. For a time you may need to learn from those He has called to be a light to the world, but then you will need to learn to follow the true light on your own. It is in this following Him, that you will truly be able to see.

Light is beautiful

John 12:44-46, "Then Jesus cried out, 'When a man believes in Me, he does not believe in Me only, but in the One who sent Me. When he looks at Me, he sees the One who sent Me. I have come into the world as a light, so that no one who believes in Me should stay in darkness.'"

If Jesus is the light of the world, then what are we loving when we are loving the darkness? There are constantly new movies coming out that have a theme of darkness. There are books that we let our young girls read that encourage them to give themselves over to darkness. Our culture is obsessed with the darkness. Our physical desires change when the darkness comes, for that is when we believe that our desire is hidden. We go out after dark and party, then we sleep all day. We have a tendency to think that there is beauty in darkness and we believe there is comfort in pain. If you think that you have never loved darkness, don't deceive yourself. Look back across the path of your life and see where the truth lays. Look back and see where you have loved the darkness and where you are still drawn to it today. If there is always drama in your life, then there may be a reason. If you are constantly fighting and there is constant strife in your life, then there is a good chance you are hanging on to the darkness, instead of the light. I am going to use insects here to demonstrate a point on how we are with light and life.

Have you ever wondered why some insects are drawn to the light on your front porch? There are some insects that use light as there guide at night. So, when they see your front porch light they become confused and start trying to follow that light in order to find their way in the darkness. Some insects are still attracted to the artificial light even after the natural light source is given. Some scientists believe that this attraction may not be for the light at all, but for the darker areas that surround that light. Other insects are instantly repelled by any light and will run as soon as a light is turned on.

The example of the insects can be a good illustration on the light that we are seeking, or that we are running away from. Are we allowing the natural light of Christ to guide us? Can we distinguish between true light and the imitation given by others. Are we like the cockroach and really repelled by the light? Do we fool ourselves into still believing a certain thing even after the truth has been revealed to us?

Proverbs 4:18-19, "The path of the righteous is like the first gleam of dawn, shining ever brighter till the full light of day. But the way of the wicked is like deep darkness; they do not know what makes them stumble." Can you see the path with which you are following? Do you know how to love the light? Have you been fooled into believing that the darkness is beautiful?

Oswald Chambers, "To have a master and teacher is not the same thing as being mastered and taught. Having a master and teacher means that there is someone who knows me better than I know myself, who is closer than a friend, and who understands the remotest depths of my heart and is able to satisfy them fully. It means having someone who has made me secure in the knowledge that he has met and solved all the doubts, uncertainties, and problems in my mind... Our Lord never takes measures to make me do what He wants. Sometimes I wish God would master and control me to make me do what He wants, but He will not. And at other times I wish He would leave me alone, and He does not. 'You call Me Teacher and Lord...'— but is He? Teacher, Master, and Lord have little place in our vocabulary. We prefer the words Savior, Sanctifier, and Healer. The only word that truly describes the experience of being mastered is love, and we know little about love as God reveals it in His Word. The way we use the word obey is proof of this. In the Bible, obedience is based on a relationship between equals; for example, that of a son with his father. Our Lord was not simply God’s servant— He was His Son. '...though He was a Son, yet He learned obedience...' (Hebrews 5:8)."

Do we walk in the light as He is in the light? Do we love Him and serve Him because He is our Master, our Lord? Can we find Him when there are so many other distractions in this life lying to us, confusing us on what is really attractive?

My Love

1 John 5:14, "And we are confident that he hears us whenever we ask for anything that pleases Him. And since we know He hears us when we make our requests, we also know that He will give us what we ask for."

Do you know that my requests are being granted. It is not in the money you bring home. It is not the earthly pleasures that you are able to provide for me. My prayers and requests are granted because of the love that you show for our Lord. The more you fall in love with Him, the more you fall in love with me. The two go hand in hand. Eight years today! We have been married for eight years and every day our home gets more secure. It is not because financially we are better off. Christ never promised security in that way. In fact, He would promise security in the opposite direction. Luke 18:22, "The man replied, 'I’ve obeyed all these commandments since I was young.' When Jesus heard his answer, he said, 'There is still one thing you haven’t done. Sell all your possessions and give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.'”

I am more proud of you today than I ever was when you drove your Z3. I know where the strength of a man is held. It is not held in his physical strength. No, that always fades. It is not held in how much money he makes. No, the government will make sure of that. It is not shown in his house that he builds, or in this world at all. The strength that I see is a strength that most miss with their eyes, for they are looking through the fog, but I see clearly. I see your strength when you do not panic and you trust in our God. For that is where your true strength is revealed.

I am so proud of you. I am proud of the man you are. I do not see the things of the world as others do. I see God. As long as you are focused on Him, I see your strength. He is what gives true strength to a true man. When I see your anger and discouragement, that is when I have the hardest time, for your focus is taken away from God and my security is shaken. Keep your focus my love. Stay strong. We are doing great.

You have work to do. I have been talking to you a lot about Nehemiah, I see his call in yours. He had a most impossible task before him. The only way he was able to do his job well and complete it, was his focus. He kept his focus on God through all of the trials. He was focused on God while he had a sword strapped to his waist ready to fight the opposition. You are rebuilding a business. Keep your focus on God, but also keep one hand on your sword. You have more strength than any man I have ever met. I know, for I have tested that strength. My love, the main thing a woman wants is security. It is not security that this world offers. All those things are temporal. My greatest need is for you to keep your focus, then I am secure.

Psalm 19, "The heavens proclaim the glory of God. The skies display his craftsmanship. Day after day they continue to speak; night after night they make him known. They speak without a sound or word; their voice is never heard. Yet their message has gone throughout the earth, and their words to all the world...The instructions of the Lord are perfect, reviving the soul. The decrees of the Lord are trustworthy, making wise the simple. The commandments of the Lord are right, bringing joy to the heart. The commands of the Lord are clear, giving insight for living. Reverence for the Lord is pure, lasting forever. The laws of the Lord are true; each one is fair. They are more desirable than gold, even the finest gold. They are sweeter than honey, even honey dripping from the comb."

I have written you many love notes in the past, but this time my job is different. I am called to be your help mate, and this time I am your being you boxing coach. I am here to cheer you on and help you win this fight. I am so proud of you. I am so proud to be your wife. I am so in love with you...

Remember

Nehemiah 9:5-6, "Stand up and praise the LORD your God, who is from everlasting to everlasting. Blessed be Your glorious name, and may it be exalted above all blessing and praise. You alone are the LORD. You made the heavens, even the highest heavens, and all their starry host, the earth and all that is on it, the seas and all that is in them. You give life to everything, and the multitudes of heaven worship You."

Stand up and praise the Lord. Stand up and remember where you have come from. Many times you hear people say that you need to forget your past and live for Christ and the life and future that He has placed in you and before you. While I agree with this; I disagree with this. I love reading the Old Testament. I like to see the remembrance that brought about true worship. For it is in remembering that we can find life. It is in remembering that we can see how He raised us from the dead.

(9:16-20),"But they, our forefathers, became arrogant and stiff-necked, and did not obey Your commands. They refused to listen and failed to remember the miracles You performed among them. They became stiff-necked and in their rebellion appointed a leader in order to return to their slavery. But You are a forgiving God, gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love. Therefore You did not desert them, even when they cast for themselves an image of a calf and said, 'This is your god, who brought you up out of Egypt,' or when they committed awful blasphemies. Because of Your great compassion You did not abandon them in the desert... You gave your good Spirit to instruct them."

In the Old Testament we are always being called to remember. We are being called to remember the sins that have brought others pain, and our own personal sins, so that we can do better today and in the future. We must remember our time of slavery. For if we forget this time, we will not be able to truly praise our God and worship Him for what He does for us now.

Oswald Chambers, "Envy, jealousy, and strife don’t necessarily arise from your old nature of sin, but from the flesh which was used for these kinds of things in the past (see Romans 6:19 and 1 Peter 4:1-3). You must maintain continual watchfulness so that nothing arises in your life that would cause you shame... Many people have turned back because they are afraid to look at things from God’s perspective. The greatest spiritual crisis comes when a person has to move a little farther on in his faith than the beliefs he has already accepted."

We do not need to live in guilt of our sin, but we do need to look continually at the truth of who we are without Christ. If we do not remember who we were, then we run the risk of thinking we saved ourselves from death. If we forget who we were, then we run the risk of becoming that person again. Remember where you came from, so that you can focus on Him today. Do not live in the past, but do not try to forget the lessons from your past either.

Joy of the Lord

Nehemiah 8:9-12, "'This day is sacred to the LORD your God. Do not mourn or weep.' For all the people had been weeping as they listened to the words of the Law. Nehemiah said, 'Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks, and send some to those who have nothing prepared. This day is sacred to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength.' ...because they now understood the words that had been made known to them."

There was a time when someone laid their hands on me and spoke these words over me, "for the joy of the LORD is your strength." I did not really understand it, but now I do. Once we have been set free and we understand the true love of our God, His law and love is our joy. But, in order to have His joy we must first understand His love. So often we have done so wrong in our own life that we cannot see past our own sin in order to hear His voice of hope. There is a time for tears, but what is its role?

Nehemiah 9:1-3, "...the Israelites gathered together, fasting and wearing sackcloth and having dust on their heads. Those of Israelite descent had separated themselves from all foreigners. They stood in their places and confessed their sins and the wickedness of their fathers. They stood where they were and read from the Book of the Law of the LORD their God for a quarter of the day, and spent another quarter in confession and in worshiping the LORD their God."

There is a time of mourning for what we have done. There is this time and there must be, for in our time of sin, something very valuable has died. When we look at God's law there is no way that we can get away from the truth of our sin and this is a very daunting awareness. But, we cannot live in the sadness of our sin. There is hope that has been given and we are once again not living in God's will if we continue to mourn. There is a very needed time of mourning, but there is also a promise that God has given us. We need to learn to take hold of His promises.

God's promises, His hope, His reality, our strength:
Psalm 43:5, "Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise Him, my Savior and my God." 2 Thessalonians 2:16, "May our Lord Jesus Christ Himself and God our Father, who loved us and by His grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope..." John 11:25-26, "Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in Me will never die. Do you believe this?" Psalm 146:5, "Happy is he whose help is the God of Jacob, whose hope is in the LORD his God..." Romans 15:13, "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."

Have we faced our past and had our time of mourning? Have we learned to read and understand His law so that we can find true joy? Oswald Chambers, "'Come to Me... and I will give you rest' ( Matthew 11:28 ). It is only after we have begun to experience what salvation really means that we surrender our will to Jesus for rest. Whatever is causing us a sense of uncertainty is actually a call to our will— “Come to Me.” And it is a voluntary coming. ...And after you surrender— then what? Your entire life should be characterized by an eagerness to maintain unbroken fellowship and oneness with God." Do you know what the joy of the Lord is? After you have received the love of Christ, do you still weep with bitter tears before Him, or have your tears turned to tears of joy? "...for the joy of the LORD is your strength.' ...because they now understood the words that had been made known to them."

Prayer

Nehemiah, when you think of him, do you think of his prayers and how they affected his life? I usually don't. But, his prayers were how his life played out. His prayers were how he began his mission. His prayers were what gave him the strength to fight the opposition and the courage to finish his job.

Nehemiah 1:4-7, "When I heard these things, I sat down and wept. For some days I mourned and fasted and prayed before the God of heaven. Then I said: 'O LORD, God of heaven, the great and awesome God, who keeps His covenant of love with those who love Him and obey His commands, let Your ear be attentive and Your eyes open to hear the prayer Your servant is praying before You day and night for Your servants, the people of Israel. I confess the sins we Israelites, including myself and my father's house, have committed against You. We have acted very wickedly toward You. We have not obeyed the commands, decrees and laws You gave Your servant Moses.'"

Nehemiah starts his prayer with the awareness of God's sovereignty and His holy awesomeness. Then before he complains and tells God all that is gone wrong, he first looks at himself and sees the sins that have been committed against God. He starts by looking at God and after he looks at how wonderful God is, he can then see clearly how he has failed himself.

After Nehemiah had spent many days in prayer to God, he was ready for what was to come next. (2:4), "The king said to me, 'What is it you want?' Then I prayed to the God of heaven, and I answered the king...." Nehemiah was ready and waiting for God to show him the right timing and when he was presented with his opportunity to visit with the king he did not jump right in and give the king his answer, but he took the problem to God before he answered the king with his own words.

While they were working hard to rebuild the wall, they were greeted with opposition. But instead of taking the insults personally, Nehemiah knew the one they were really insulting was God, and he asked God to deal with them. (4:4-5), "Hear us, O our God, for we are despised. Turn their insults back on their own heads. Give them over as plunder in a land of captivity. Do not cover up their guilt or blot out their sins from your sight, for they have thrown insults in the face of the builders. So we rebuilt the wall till all of it reached half its height, for the people worked with all their heart."

(4:9), "But we prayed to our God and posted a guard day and night to meet this threat." They believed God. They knew God was in control. They relied on God, but this did not mean that they did not take the necessary precautions while they they were working out God's plan for their life.

(6:9), "They were all trying to frighten us, thinking, 'Their hands will get too weak for the work, and it will not be completed.' But I prayed, 'Now strengthen my hands.'" While they were working, he prayed that God would give them the strength to continue. Nehemiah knew where the strength came from. He knew that without God's help, they would not be able to complete the task.

While Nehemiah was working he kept his focus. (13:29), "Remember them, O my God, because they defiled the priestly office and the covenant of the priesthood and of the Levites." It would have been so easy for him to get bitter against the people and to take out his own revenge, but he knew whose right it was to keep justice. He kept his focus on God and his role with his relationship with God.

(5:19), "Remember me with favor, O my God..." (13:14), "Remember me for this, O my God, and do not blot out what I have so faithfully done for the house of my God and its services." (13:22), "Then I commanded the Levites to purify themselves and go and guard the gates in order to keep the Sabbath day holy. Remember me for this also, O my God, and show mercy to me according to Your great love." (13:31), "Remember me with favor, O my God." In asking God to remember him, Nehemiah kept his mind clear and kept him focused on why he was doing all of this.

As we walk through life, do we take all of what we do before God? When we first see something that is broken, do we begin with asking God to forgive us of our own sins? We are often faced with a task. Can we keep our focus on God and allow Him to deal with the opposition in front of us? Do we think that we do not need to take action to protect ourselves, or do we think that it is showing more faith by being passive? Can we keep our focus on God, while we are working for Him? These are all lessons in prayer that we can learn from the life of Nehemiah. Have we begun our day in pray to God this day? Do we take every issue, everything to God throughout the day?

Hear the Applause?

What do we applaud in the sake of acceptance? What do we accept in the sake of being a people of grace and forgiveness? What do we not say to someone, in the sake of not judging others? Have we lost sight of what God has called us to? Have we lost our ability to stand alone, all because we are afraid of what others may say about us?

Ezra 9:1-2, "After these things had been done, the leaders came to me and said, 'The people of Israel, including the priests and the Levites, have not kept themselves separate from the neighboring peoples... They have taken some of their daughters as wives for themselves and their sons, and have mingled the holy race with the peoples around them. And the leaders and officials have led the way in this unfaithfulness.'"

From the beginning of God's word, He has called us to be separate from others around us. He never established a rule that said to rejoice in the things that others are doing, but to stand as a light against it. A light of love and truth, but in this light, celebration with them was never encouraged. We have taken the grace that we see in Christ and turned it against the word and law of God. We now say that we accept everyone no matter what they are seeking. We now say that everything is okay and that no matter how anyone is living or what they are worshiping, it is fine and they do not have to change.

Oswald Chambers, "Deliverance from sin is not the same as deliverance from human nature. There are things in human nature, such as prejudices, that the saint can only destroy through sheer neglect. But there are other things that have to be destroyed through violence, that is, through God’s divine strength imparted by His Spirit. There are some things over which we are not to fight, but only to 'stand still, and see the salvation of the Lord...' (see Exodus 14:13). But every theory or thought that raises itself up as a fortified barrier 'against the knowledge of God' is to be determinedly demolished by drawing on God’s power, not through human effort or by compromise (see 2 Corinthians 10:4).

It is only when God has transformed our nature and we have entered into the experience of sanctification that the fight begins. The warfare is not against sin; we can never fight against sin— Jesus Christ conquered that in His redemption of us. The conflict is waged over turning our natural life into a spiritual life. This is never done easily, nor does God intend that it be so. It is accomplished only through a series of moral choices. God does not make us holy in the sense that He makes our character holy. He makes us holy in the sense that He has made us innocent before Him. And then we have to turn that innocence into holy character through the moral choices we make. These choices are continually opposed and hostile to the things of our natural life which have become so deeply entrenched— the very things that raise themselves up as fortified barriers 'against the knowledge of God.' We can either turn back, making ourselves of no value to the kingdom of God, or we can determinedly demolish these things, allowing Jesus to bring another son to glory (see Hebrews 2:10)."

We must be careful what we are embracing today. We must always take what we are encouraging in our society and compare it with what God's law is saying. What religions are we embracing, so that we can say we walk in love? What are we allowing others to do, all so we will not be judged, by them saying we are judging them? What truth are we not seeing in others, so that we do not have to look at the truth in ourselves?

Luke 6:41, "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,' when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye."

In this passage Jesus never said to turn a blind eye, for look at what you are doing yourself. What He was doing was showing us how to help others. First, look at the sin in your own life. Look at the truth in that sin and remove it from your own heart. Then, you are to go and help the others around you, for now you can see clearly, and help them in removing their own sin. We are to stand against sin. We are not called to live rejoicing with others in our own sin and in theirs. What are you applauding today? What are we embracing?

Change of Heart

2 Chronicles 33:10-13, "The LORD spoke to Manasseh and his people, but they paid no attention. So the LORD brought against them the army commanders of the king of Assyria, who took Manasseh prisoner, put a hook in his nose, bound him with bronze shackles and took him to Babylon. In his distress he sought the favor of the LORD his God and humbled himself greatly before the God of his fathers. And when he prayed to him, the LORD was moved by his entreaty and listened to his plea; so He brought him back to Jerusalem and to his kingdom. Then Manasseh knew that the LORD is God."

As I have been reading the stories of the great kings of old, I have learned many things. One of these things is that no matter how bad you have been in your past, if you will humble yourself, God will forgive you. Manasseh's story begins with with this statement; "He did what was evil in the LORD's sight." He worshiped other god's and even sacrificed his children on alters to them. But then, when all had failed and he was taken as a slave to another land, it was then that he was humble and called out to God. He did not just call out to God in his moment of distress, but he was humbled and had a change of heart. He changed and let go of all that had at one time been so precious to him. His change was real and his heart remained humble toward God.

This is often the part that we have the hardest time with. We see how we have done wrong. We have felt the sting of our sin. Yet, to permanently change; to let go of what we have become accustom with; to allow God to give us new friends; to let God give us a new chance at a new life, that is hard and scary. But, this is part of the test: to see if we have really repented and had a change of heart, or if we are just sorry because of the consequences of our choices. James 4:5-7, "'God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.' Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you." If we are humble we will do what we know God is calling us to do. We will not insist that we do things our way, but we will lay down our own desires for Him. If we will humble ourselves long enough and stay strong with God, the devil will flee from us and no longer tempt us in the old ways we lived.

Oswald Chambers, "We must continually remind ourselves of the purpose of life. We are not destined to happiness, nor to health, but to holiness. Today we have far too many desires and interests, and our lives are being consumed and wasted by them. Many of them may be right, noble, and good, and may later be fulfilled, but in the meantime God must cause their importance to us to decrease. The only thing that truly matters is whether a person will accept the God who will make him holy. At all costs, a person must have the right relationship with God. Do I believe I need to be holy? Do I believe that God can come into me and make me holy? ...Never tolerate, because of sympathy for yourself or for others, any practice that is not in keeping with a holy God. Holiness means absolute purity of your walk before God, the words coming from your mouth, and every thought in your mind— placing every detail of your life under the scrutiny of God Himself. Holiness is not simply what God gives me, but what God has given me that is being exhibited in my life."

Have I humbled myself enough and let go of my own desires, to allow God to change me? Christ came as the perfect example of how a humble person is to live. He did not come so that He could be comfortable. He came so that we would know what was truly important and that importance is to be one with God. He wants us to know what it is to live a life for Him. And after we have turned our life over to Him, then He will lift us up and give us true life.

Do the Work

1 Chronicles 28:9-10, 20, "And you, my son Solomon, acknowledge the God of your father, and serve Him with wholehearted devotion and with a willing mind, for the LORD searches every heart and understands every motive behind the thoughts. If you seek Him, He will be found by you; but if you forsake Him, He will reject you forever. Consider now, for the LORD has chosen you to build a temple as a sanctuary. Be strong and do the work. ...Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the LORD God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you..."

Young Solomon had to have had many fears and concerns about being chosen for such an enormous task. He had to take on a huge responsibility. A responsibility that would otherwise be the job of an older man, but because of his father's past, he was now responsible. Now it seemed that the weight of the world was upon his shoulders. But, in this dialogue we find the words of this warrior preparing his son for an enormous battle. "Be strong and do the work. ...Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the LORD God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you..."

How often we look out onto our own challenges and find that the task ahead of us seems impossible. We can look at others around us, and see them depending on us for financial security. We may wake in the morning and feel as though the weight of the world is upon our shoulders and that the task is too large for anyone. That is when we hear the words, "Be strong and courageous, and do the work." God is not calling us to sit back and do nothing while He does everything for us. He is calling us to do the work. Do the work that He has set in front of us and He will not forsake you, nor will He fail you. Do you know that when you have diligently sought after God and when you feel you are failing your family, it is not actually you that you feel has failed, but you feel it is God who is failing you.

Oswald Chambers, "There are times in our lives when our peace is based simply on our own ignorance. But when we are awakened to the realities of life, true inner peace is impossible unless it is received from Jesus. When our Lord speaks peace, He creates peace, because the words that He speaks are always 'spirit, and they are life' (John 6:63). Have I ever received what Jesus speaks? '...My peace I give to you...'— a peace that comes from looking into His face and fully understanding and receiving His quiet contentment.

Are you severely troubled right now? Are you afraid and confused by the waves and the turbulence God sovereignly allows to enter your life? Have you left no stone of your faith unturned, yet still not found any well of peace, joy, or comfort? Does your life seem completely barren to you? Then look up and receive the quiet contentment of the Lord Jesus. Reflecting His peace is proof that you are right with God, because you are exhibiting the freedom to turn your mind to Him. If you are not right with God, you can never turn your mind anywhere but on yourself. Allowing anything to hide the face of Jesus Christ from you either causes you to become troubled or gives you a false sense of security.

With regard to the problem that is pressing in on you right now, are you 'looking unto Jesus' (Hebrews 12:2) and receiving peace from Him? If so, He will be a gracious blessing of peace exhibited in and through you. But if you only try to worry your way out of the problem, you destroy His effectiveness in you, and you deserve whatever you get. We become troubled because we have not been taking Him into account. When a person confers with Jesus Christ, the confusion stops, because there is no confusion in Him. Lay everything out before Him, and when you are faced with difficulty, bereavement, and sorrow, listen to Him say, 'Let not your heart be troubled...' (John 14:27)."

Do not doubt God. He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not blame Him for your failings, but worship Him and get out there and do the work He has set in front of you. While you are working, be sure and check your heart and your motives and keep them pure before Him. For, He knows our inner most thoughts. "If you seek Him, He will be found by you; ...Be strong and courageous, and do the work. Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the LORD God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you or forsake you..."

Prayer of Jabez

1 Chronicles 4:10, "Jabez cried out to the God of Israel, 'Oh, that You would bless me and enlarge my territory! Let Your hand be with me, and keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain.' And God granted his request."

The power of prayer. Is there any power there? We have been in some very hard times, for some time now. Business is struggling, for who is able to buy right now. In the midst of such pain and suffering, we find Jabez. The prayer of Jabez, in a long list of family genealogy, this is where we find him. He was a man born in pain and suffering. Yet, in the midst of pain and suffering, this is where he cried out to God, and this is where we see his prayer answered. This is where we cry out to God:

"Our Father, our Lord,
Hear our prayer. See our cry. We need You Father. We need You to answer us, for there is nowhere else for us to turn. Oh, that You would bless us and secure our business! Let Your hand be with us, and keep us from harm so that we will be free from pain. We have been open and honest in our dealings. We have honored You with our lives. Be with us Father, for we need You. Please do not hold us accountable for what others have done. We have turned every stone. If there is a stone left unturned, please show us so that we can deal with it."

Oswald Chambers, "Matthew 7:9, 'Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone?' The illustration of prayer that our Lord used here is one of a good child who is asking for something good. We talk about prayer as if God hears us regardless of what our relationship is to Him (see Matthew 5:45). Never say that it is not God’s will to give you what you ask. Don’t faint and give up, but find out the reason you have not received; increase the intensity of your search and examine the evidence. Is your relationship right with your spouse, your children, and your fellow students? Are you a 'good child' in those relationships? Do you have to say to the Lord, 'I have been irritable and cross, but I still want spiritual blessings'? You cannot receive and will have to do without them until you have the attitude of a 'good child.' ...I am a child of God only by being born again, and as His child I am good only as I 'walk in the light' (1 John 1:7). For most of us, prayer simply becomes some trivial religious expression, a matter of mystical and emotional fellowship with God. We are all good at producing spiritual fog that blinds our sight. But if we will search out and examine the evidence, we will see very clearly what is wrong— a friendship, an unpaid debt, or an improper attitude. There is no use praying unless we are living as children of God. Then Jesus says, regarding His children, 'Everyone who asks receives...' (Matthew 7:8)."

"We are not living blind, my Lord. We have done everything that we can do, please hear our cry. 'Jabez cried out to the God of Israel, 'Oh, that you would bless me and enlarge my territory! Let your hand be with me, and keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain.' And God granted his request.' Please Father, help us. 'Everyone who asks receives...'"

Youthful Wisdom

Of all the kings in the bible, the name Josiah has always rung sweet in my heart. I love how he instantly believed the words of the Lord. I love how even though he was not the cause of the idolatry, he immediately felt remorse and tore his clothes in despair. He was young, eight years old, when he became king. I love that in his youth, he had wisdom, for he instantly listened and believed the Lord's command. In his youth, he knew that immediate action had to take place for all the wrong to be righted. I love that in his youth, the older learned from him. I love that the people respected him and listened to him. I think I love Josiah so much, because in his youth, he was wise.

2 Kings 22:19, "'This is what the LORD, the God of Israel, says concerning the words you heard: Because your heart was responsive and you humbled yourself before the LORD when you heard what I have spoken against this place and its people, that they would become accursed and laid waste, and because you tore your robes and wept in my presence, I have heard you, declares the LORD. Therefore I will gather you to your fathers, and you will be buried in peace."

In his youth, he was a reformer. He did this in spite of his father and grandfather being so exceptionally wicked. The moment he heard the truth, he took action and started clearing up whatever he recognized as not belonging to the worship of the true God. His transformation did not take years of learning the hard way, on how to live. He heard the word and immediately took action against anything that was against God. He starting cleaning house. He cleared away anything that brought back the memories of old sin. Everything and anything was gone. For in transforming your life, you must get rid of everything that brings back the memories of your past. You cannot hold on to that one special treasure that makes you think, "Ah, I remember when..." For those are the memories that will come haunting again the first chance they get.

During this transformation, the people followed Josiah. They carefully took his advise and followed his rule. They had peace during this time. But, they did not transform their own hearts. They followed him, because he was a great leader, but they secretly longed for other things. This is something we all must stop and listen to. As long as Josiah was alive the people prospered under his reign. However, no matter how strong the one you are following is, there comes a time when you will stand alone and you must examine your own heart. This is the time of truth and this is the time for your own personal repentance.

Oswald Chambers, "Whenever anything begins to disintegrate your life with Jesus Christ, turn to Him at once, asking Him to re-establish your rest. Never allow anything to remain in your life that is causing the unrest. Think of every detail of your life that is causing the disintegration as something to fight against, not as something you should allow to remain. Ask the Lord to put awareness of Himself in you, and your self-awareness will disappear. Then He will be your all in all. Beware of allowing your self-awareness to continue, because slowly but surely it will awaken self-pity, and self-pity is satanic. Don’t allow yourself to say, “Well, they have just misunderstood me, and this is something over which they should be apologizing to me; I’m sure I must have this cleared up with them already.” Learn to leave others alone regarding this. Simply ask the Lord to give you Christ-awareness, and He will steady you until your completeness in Him is absolute. ...It is the sick person who really knows what health is..."

If we have been shown what we need to change in our life, then change it. Get rid of the old ways in which you used to live. Clear your cupboards! Whatever you have in your view, that is what will keep you from true restoration with God. No one can do it for you. You must humble yourself before the King and admit to Him what you have done wrong. Then you must take action. This is not a passive life awareness, but a life changing revival. When you see the Lord, you cannot turn a blind eye to your own sin. When you see the Lord, you must learn to follow Him. It may not even be your own sin, but the sin of your parents. This is the time to change the past in your own life. This is the time for you to live.

Where is the Focus?

Oswald Chambers, "Never allow anything that divides or destroys the oneness of your life with Christ to remain in your life without facing it. Beware of allowing the influence of your friends or your circumstances to divide your life. This only serves to sap your strength and slow your spiritual growth. Beware of anything that can split your oneness with Him, causing you to see yourself as separate from Him. Nothing is as important as staying right spiritually. And the only solution is a very simple one— 'Come to Me...' The intellectual, moral, and spiritual depth of our reality as a person is tested and measured by these words. Yet in every detail of our lives where we are found not to be real, we would rather dispute the findings than come to Jesus."

It is amazing to me how much I need my friends. I need others in my life to calm me. It is amazing to me how I can get so bent out of shape and think that I must be the one to do something. This is when I realize that I am not relying on Christ, but that I put myself in such a high position that I actually think that He needs me to get something done. When in reality, instead of me needing to do the work for Him, He is actually trying to do a work in me.

2 Kings 18, Hezekiah- "He did what was right in the eyes of the LORD, just as his father David had done. He removed the high places, smashed the sacred stones and cut down the Asherah poles. He broke into pieces the bronze snake Moses had made, for up to that time the Israelites had been burning incense to it. Hezekiah trusted in the LORD, the God of Israel. There was no one like him among all the kings of Judah, either before him or after him. He held fast to the LORD and did not cease to follow Him; he kept the commands the LORD had given Moses. And the LORD was with him... In the fourteenth year of King Hezekiah's reign, Sennacherib king of Assyria attacked all the fortified cities of Judah and captured them." Hezekiah became fearful and turned to the Lord. He wore sackcloth and begged the Lord for help. 2 Kings 19, "That night the angel of the LORD went out and put to death a hundred and eighty-five thousand men in the Assyrian camp. When the people got up the next morning—there were all the dead bodies! So Sennacherib king of Assyria broke camp and withdrew. He returned to Nineveh and stayed there." (You really need to read all of 18-20 for the full view of Hezekiah).

This was one of Hezekiah's greatest victories, and he did nothing, but turn to God for help with this daunting reality. Often, we see something and think that we are the ones that must deal with that issue. However, many times we are allowed to see that impossible task so that we will know that only God can conquer it. Hezekiah's first response was to turn to the Lord. Then when Isaiah told Him that the Lord would take care of the problem, he believed. Then, all he had to do was sit back and watch the mighty power of God revealed. Are we like this when life throws us something that seems daunting. Do we think that we have to solve the problem? Are taking our problems to God? Do we listen and trust God when He is speaking to us through others?

My focus needs to remain on Christ. I need to keep my heart and eyes upon Him. I need to remember that in this relationship that I am developing with Him, I will see more, but that does not mean that I see everything, or that I need to do anything. If I will keep my eyes upon Him, He will allow me to see things that I have never before seen. If I will keep my eyes upon Him, then I will learn to wait for Him. If I will keep my eyes upon Him, then I will learn to trust that He is strong enough for any army that is threatening to war against my heart. And in learning to trust Him through everything, then I will live in peace and not have to worry.

Matthew 6:25-34, "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Keeping my eyes on God will allow me to live this day to its fullest. The rest is for Him to conquer. I need to learn to wait upon the Lord, so that I can see His mighty deeds.

Open My Eyes

2 Kings 6:15-17, "'Oh, my lord, what shall we do?' the servant asked. 'Don't be afraid,' the prophet answered. 'Those who are with us are more than those who are with them.' And Elisha prayed, 'O LORD, open his eyes so he may see.' Then the LORD opened the servant's eyes, and he looked and saw the hills full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha."

How limited is our view when we look at this life. We cannot see what is really going on. We only see what we think is going on. We see what is right in front of us. When someone says something to us, how often do we take offense, when no offense is needed. We cannot venture out of our own self, and what we feel, to stop and take a real look at the others around us and see life from their point of view. If we cannot stop and see this life from others people's perspective, how are we going to see through the eyes of God and the real truth of this life? How I pray that my eyes would be opened so that I can see through His eyes, even though many of the truths in my own life are hard to look at. But, how can I expect to see others and what they need, if I cannot even look at my own life, all of my life.

Oswald Chambers, "The rich young ruler went away from Jesus speechless with sorrow, having nothing to say in response to Jesus’ words. He had no doubt about what Jesus had said or what it meant, and it produced in him a sorrow with no words with which to respond. Have you ever been there? Has God’s Word ever come to you, pointing out an area of your life, requiring you to yield it to Him? Maybe He has pointed out certain personal qualities, desires, and interests, or possibly relationships of your heart and mind. If so, then you have often been speechless with sorrow. Luke 18:22, 'Sell all that you have...' In other words, rid yourself before God of everything that might be considered a possession until you are a mere conscious human being standing before Him, and then give God that. That is where the battle is truly fought— in the realm of your will before God. Are you more devoted to your idea of what Jesus wants than to Jesus Himself? If so, you are likely to hear one of His harsh and unyielding statements that will produce sorrow in you. What Jesus says is difficult— it is only easy when it is heard by those who have His nature in them. Beware of allowing anything to soften the hard words of Jesus Christ."

When we look back upon our life, there are choices that we have made that we want Christ to change. Many times when we see the hurt in others, we as believers, want Christ to change that hurt and take away the consequences for the one hurting. We pray that God come in and change what has happened and restore what was lost, but we cannot see through the eyes of God. Jesus' words were often hard for the recipient, but He did not soften the blow of His words to make that person feel better in the moment. Jesus was very firm, for in that moment of sorrow, that person has a chance to see the truth of where his hearts desires really are. We can see if our hearts are totally focused on ourself. We can see the pain that we have caused others. It is in the hard truth of Christ's words that we can see, and sometimes that truth brings sorrow. How often do we not see the whole truth in life all because we cannot see past the pain?

There have been things that happen to us and things that we have done that bring us great pain in life. We do not need to war against the pain, for in that pain there may be a mighty army of God fighting for us. We cannot take away the consequences of life choices, but we can learn to follow Christ through the hurt of those choices. His army is bigger than the war we see in front of us. His army is surrounding us and fighting for us in this battle we call life. Be careful to not get in the way of what God is really trying to accomplish in someone's life, just because you want to relieve them of the pain right now. If you block their vision, how are they supposed to see God's work in their life. If someone comes in and tries to sooth you from your own pain, be careful. That temporary relief you feel right now, may block your true restoration.

Mentors

The mighty men of old, how they can teach us. If we will only open our eyes and our ears for what they have to say to us, we can learn from them in ways that we could never imagine. David, the man after God's own heart. Have you ever noticed that he had Nathan? Nathan was the one who told David the truth about what he saw in David's life. David the king of kings, had a counselor. Everyone needs someone who will tell them the truth, even if that truth hurts. Solomon was the wisest man who ever lived. Have you noticed that he had no one who would give him counsel? No one ever told him his faults, nor pointed out his sin. He was the wisest man, yet his heart turned from God. He surrounded himself with unbelievers, and the wisest man became a fool with his own life. Elijah, he was God's personal messenger, and yet right after he had one of his biggest triumphs with God, he prayed he would die. He felt like he was the only one left who stood with the Lord. He had no one to walk with him on his journey, and this aloneness became one of his greatest struggles. Counselors, friends, we all need someone who will walk with us in truth and love.

2 John 4-6, "How happy I was to meet some of your children and find them living according to the truth, just as the Father commanded. I am writing to remind you, dear friends, that we should love one another. This is not a new commandment, but one we have had from the beginning. Love means doing what God has commanded us, and he has commanded us to love one another, just as you heard from the beginning." Through this journey of life, we all have people surrounding us. In one situation we find that we are the mentor for others. In another place, we find that we are the ones needing the mentoring. No one is immune to this. We all need others with us on this journey. If you think that you do not need to listen to others and that you are fine without their counsel, beware, this is how Solomon felt. David was king and yet he humbled himself enough to listen to Nathan's counsel. Elijah had a most wonderful relationship with God, but his greatest defeat came right after one of his greatest victories; for he was all alone. We need others to walk with us in truth and love, and we need to walk with others with truth and love ourselves.

As I look at my life and the people that influenced me the most, I have to look at the truth in myself and how I have influenced others. I have been been the fool, but I did not have wise counsel and when I was given warnings, I did not listen. I thought that I could do it myself. It was in this, that I found out how far from God I could stray. I spent several years alone with God. This time was good, for I learned how much He loved me, but I needed a friend to walk with me. God has given me friends to walk with me on this journey. They are all different ages. Some are my mentors. They have raised their families and learned to love their husbands. Others are my peers. They are my mighty women. These women walk beside me, going through life at the same stage, learning with me. Yet, others are the sweet young women who are just starting out on their journey of finding who they are. I may be one of their mentors, sharing my joys, pain, and love with them as they learn who God is.

Have you stepped back from your busy life to see the others around you? Do you know who is influencing you the most? Do you know who and how you are influencing others? Oh, don't be deceived. You are influencing others. The question is.... is it for good or is it for bad? Everyone needs someone who can counsel them. Everyone, no matter how strong their relationship with Christ is, needs someone to walk with them and experience and learn life with them. Everyone has someone watching and learning from them. If you have someone willing to love you in truth, you may be blessed as David was blessed. His heart stayed for God, all because his counselor was willing to tell him the hard truth. If you think you need no one's advise, you may be in danger of turning your heart from God like Solomon did. If you are walking high with God, yet you are alone and have no one walking beside you, you are in danger of becoming defeated right after your greatest victory as Elijah did. Do we know that we are someones mentor? Do we know that we need a mentor?

Oswald Chambers, "There are times when there is no storm or crisis in our lives, and we do all that is humanly possible. But it is when a crisis arises that we instantly reveal upon whom we rely. If we have been learning to worship God and to place our trust in Him, the crisis will reveal that we can go to the point of breaking, yet without breaking our confidence in Him." The time will come in our life when we need someone to remind us of our victory through the storm. Another time will come when we will need to walk with them through theirs. It is all about love in truth. We must have relationships to build us in love. We must be that for others.

So Long Insecurity

Insecurity, who hasn't struggled with this one. The question is, "How do you deal with insecurity, and what are we insecure about?" I have struggled with insecurity. I want to say, more than most, but I know this is probably not true. It is probably more true to say we all struggle with it the same, it just manifests itself differently. My level of insecurity makes me feel like I have been the most insecure woman on earth. That in and of itself proves how insecure I have been. I would like to say that I no longer struggle with such an issue, but that is not true either. I can say that my insecurity has gotten lots better. Some may think I am exaggerating about my insecurity. They may think, "What do you have to be insecure about? Your husband loves you. You have a nice house. You have to be the most secure woman in the room." Insecurity, it is one of my biggest down falls. Those who are around me much at all know how insecure I am, for I am very vocal. But, if I were not so open about so much in my life and if I did not come right out and say what I was thinking, when I was thinking it, I think, I could put on a pretty good front and fool many into believing that I never struggle with much at all. This is what I think most of us do. However, the truth behind most of it, is that we do struggle with insecurity. We struggle with it so much that we become insecure about being insecure.

1 Samuel 22:1-2, "So David left Gath and escaped to the cave of Adullam. Soon his brothers and all his other relatives joined him there. Then others began coming—men who were in trouble or in debt or who were just discontented—until David was the captain of about 400 men." David's mightiest men were men who were on the bottom of life. They were rejected, outcasts who had everything to be insecure about. David, himself, had every reason to be insecure, but his love of God brought him strength and allowed him to see the truth. That truth is- when we have God on our side, we have no reason to be insecure. David inspired these men to achieve beyond their goals and to meet their true potential. David was their inspiration, God was his. So many times these men were outnumbered and from the looks of others, they should have been defeated. 2 Samuel 23, David's mightiest men were found in three and thirty. He had men that were closest to him, who were the greatest warriors in his army. They fought and won great victories. David inspired them to great feats, but the ruler of this great army of men was led by the only One who could give true victory. When David was the most victorious, was when he kept his eyes upon God.

While I still struggle with insecurity, I have found that in this time period in my life, I am the most secure. There was time spent just a few short years ago, that I was so alone. I had no one. Yes, I was married, but I did not love and lean on my husband. I was in a desolate place. It was in this place that I found my strength. I began turning to Christ and allowing Him to give me strength for the first time. Then, as I began growing and allowing Him to give me life, He started to surround me with my mighty men. Only they were my mighty women. My friends are women who have been on the down and outs of life. Women who have been into drugs, adultery, lived life feeling rejected and second best. These women are my mighty women, like David had his mighty men. These women are strong and courageous. They go into battle everyday, but the cool thing is, they know how to arm themselves with shields and weapons that bring them a victory, even when defeat seems to be inevitable. I am not their leader, and they are not mine, but we battle together against the insecurities of this world. Here is the key, we have each had to go through our struggles and places of desolation. We had to go through that time alone, so that we could learn who our true leader was. Our freedom from insecurity is not in our husband, our looks, the money in our hand; It is in Christ our Lord.

If you are in a time of desolation and feeling like you are alone, the only one who... be patient. This time, is a time to overcome. This time is the time to learn Who your true leader is, and Whose you are. Alone time is not always bad. Those feelings of insecurity, the mightiest men have felt them. It is learning how to lean on the right One and how to fight for Him, that is how we become mighty ourselves. A husband will not bring you security, maybe for a moment, but that moment will pass. A child will not bring you security, neither will that friend, or that check. All things on this earth are a temporary security. They will all let you down at some point, and insecurity will start creeping in. It is in keeping our eyes upon our true leader that we can find no insecurity. His eyes will never wander as we get older and our beauty fades. His finances will always be enough to give us bread for this day. His security is the only place that we can never feel insecure. Do we know how to turn to Him as our leader? Are we His mighty men? Are we surrounded by His warriors? Whose mighty men are we as we start each day? Where is your insecurity today? You can overcome this. You just have to learn to follow the right Leader...

Goes Around, Comes Around

It can be amazing how our past sins can come and slap us in the face. Ahithophel was the counselor that Absalom used to help him while he was taking over his father's (David's) kingdom. 2 Samuel 16:15-23, "Absalom said to Ahithophel, 'Give us your advice. What should we do?' Ahithophel answered, 'Lie with your father's concubines whom he left to take care of the palace. Then all Israel will hear that you have made yourself a stench in your father's nostrils, and the hands of everyone with you will be strengthened.' So they pitched a tent for Absalom on the roof, and he lay with his father's concubines in the sight of all Israel."

Ahithophel was the grandfather of Bathsheba. He knew how to get to David. He used the same exact location to get to David, that David was in when he had first seen Bathsheba. David's sin with Bathsheba had now come in full circle. Now his son was going to sleep with his concubines where everyone could see. He was going to feel the sting of his own sin, in its original place of birth. This is the hardest consequences of sin, sometimes the consequences still come even after you have changed your ways. And, sometimes those consequences are felt threw your children.

Though this is how David's sin played out, I don't think that it had to come to this. While David himself had been confronted and this is how his eyes were opened, he had failed to do the same for his children. He missed the opportunity he had to be his children's counselor. Absalom's rebellion started when his brother's sin was not punished by David. This is when Absalom's heart grew hard against his father. Amnon had raped his sister Tamar, and even though David was very angry about it he never brought punishment to Amnon. 2 Samuel 13:22, "When King David heard all this, he was furious. Absalom never said a word to Amnon, either good or bad; he hated Amnon because he had disgraced his sister Tamar." This hatred turned into revenge and he killed Amnon two years later. It was after this when Absalom decided to take his father's kingdom. If David had punished Amnon when he should have, this may never have happened.

It was David's original guilt about his own sin that I think stopped him from punishing his children when they sinned. How often as parents do we tend to say, "well, I did it." Then we do not hold our children to the accountability standard that they need. What we must realize is that all too often our sins affect them by our not dealing with their sins, all because of our own personal guilt. Or, we see their sins and do not hold them accountable for their sins, all because we did it too. "We survived and so will they." At what cost do we sacrifice our children, all because we did it too. We are to be here as their counselors. Just like David had Nathan as his counselor, and Nathan did not turn a blind eye, we are to be our children's counselors. We are to hold them to the standards that God has given us, not the standards that we lived by. We are to love them unconditionally, but we are to love them in truth and love. There is a difference. If we do not love them in truth, then we cannot really love them. Sometimes the truth hurts. But, love always wrapped in truth is never blind. We cannot turn a blind eye, especially on our children, just because we are afraid of them saying, "You did it too. Who are you to judge me!" As we become older, we cannot hide behind the guilt and fear of our youth. We must learn to stand with our youth as an example and hold our children accountable to God's righteousness, not our mistakes. If you are not your child's counselor, who is?

Smallest Price

“When you fall into sin, the smallest price you pay is only the wounding you bring to yourself-- You grieve the heart of God and embarrass the community of Christ,” (RZ).

2 Samuel 12, "The LORD sent Nathan to David. When he came to him, he said, 'There were two men in a certain town, one rich and the other poor. The rich man had a very large number of sheep and cattle, but the poor man had nothing except one little ewe lamb he had bought. He raised it, and it grew up with him and his children. It shared his food, drank from his cup and even slept in his arms. It was like a daughter to him. Now a traveler came to the rich man, but the rich man refrained from taking one of his own sheep or cattle to prepare a meal for the traveler who had come to him. Instead, he took the ewe lamb that belonged to the poor man and prepared it for the one who had come to him.' David burned with anger against the man... Then Nathan said to David, 'You are the man!...' Then David said to Nathan, 'I have sinned against the LORD.' Nathan replied, 'The LORD has taken away your sin. You are not going to die. But because by doing this you have made the enemies of the LORD show utter contempt...'"

There are so many lessons in the life of David. It is when his sin gets called to his attention that we can see his true heart, and this is when we can learn our own lessons with our own sin. Just like us, David was blind to his sin when he was doing it. Oh yes, he knew it was wrong, but in his effort to get what he wanted, God's ways became blind to him and all he could do was focus on his own desires. It is in the revealing of his sin that we see his heart. His heart is not necessarily revealed because he sinned, but what he did with the realization of his sin after his eyes were opened. He hit his knees, begged for forgiveness, and did not go down that road again. This is why in Acts 13:22, God said that David was a "man after my own heart." It was not that David would never sin, but that when he did sin, he truly repented. He didn't just say, "Well I am sorry I got caught," but his heart was broken. However, the true effect of his sin was upon God, and His reputation.

When we as Christians sin, we are not just affecting ourselves, but we are affecting how others view God. This is what should grieve us the most! Because of Christ, our sin is forgiven, but the damage we have done in others eyes is enormous. The question that we must constantly be asking our own heart is, "Do we grieve because we are caught in sin, or because we have damaged the view of Christ others see in us?" This is actually an easier test than one may imagine. When you are caught doing something, do you still find ways to get a portion of what you were caught doing, no matter how small that portion is? If you are still trying to steal little portions, your heart is tattling on you. “The seat of sin is in the heart and will, not only in the action,” (RZ).

Definition of sin-- “Whatever weakens your reasoning, impairs the tenderness of your conscience, obscures your sense of God, or takes away your relish for spiritual things. In short, if anything increases the authority and power of the flesh over the spirit, then that to you becomes sin, however good it is in itself.” (Susana Wesley, RZ)

We all sin. No one is perfect. But, our hearts desire is revealed in what we do after that sin is revealed to us, either by the Holy Spirit (our conscience), or by someone else. David still had to suffer the consequences of his sin, and so must we. The true test of our heat is what we do with our sin after we have discovered it. Are we still trying to live the lie and steal little pieces of our desire wherever we can get it, or has our heart been turned away from that desire and toward God. Christ's blood has forgiven and washed us clean, but what are we really showing to others when we live a life in hypocrisy?